Frugality

I joined a gym today. I realize that, in normal society, this is not a very big deal, but it is to me. I've fought it for a long time out of a sense of personal cheapness, which, we all agree, I seem to possess an overabundance of. (Yes, I ended my sentence with a preposition. Sue me.) It always seemed silly to me to pay money for a gym--albeit a nicer gym much closer to where I live--when I was already getting gym privileges for free through my job (crappy gym notwithstanding). So I did it. I think I'm glad. I will be glad if it means I start running regularly again. Somehow, when I was running, I was able to possess a certain perspective that I have lost in these last couple months. An overly joyful attitude, too.

And I need that right now. As classes are starting up again. I need the energy, the drive to keep pushing through even though I'm frustrated and not challenged and, I think, somewhat resentful that I'm not doing the program I "want" to do even though I believe I am doing the program I am "meant" to do.

But right now, I dread school starting, and I have never felt that way before in my life. Someone, please, give me something to translate so I can remember that there are parts of this program that I really do enjoy!

Anyway. Morning is going to come very early if I intend to work out (and I do). Good night, friends. Good night, strangers. Good night, cyberstalkers. :)