How do you break the news to someone that he's a very nice person but you're just not interested in him in that way? I am so bad at this kind of thing. Always have been. Probably always will be.
I always get stuck between playing my typical role of "ice queen" or feeling sorry for the fellow and, in doing so, unintentionally leading him further on. One way is harsh but effective; the other way is nicer but entirely unfair.
This is why dating should be outlawed. If we want to be married, we can have arranged marriages. If we don't want to be married, we can just go on with our lives. None of this nonsense. Sigh....
5 comments:
Jai, you crack me up! If you really want an arranged marriage, I would be happy to find someone for you. Just let me know...
As far as your current dilema, I really can't help you. I've always been the ice queen type myself. That's how I knew that Brandon was right for me--because even after months and months I didn't scare him off!!! :) Seriously, though, honesty is always the best policy but you have to temper it with kindness (but not too much). If you were in his shoes, wouldn't you prefer to know the truth so you could move on?
I say that you give him a compliment or two while telling him that you are not interested in him. Pad the ego a bit before you pop it.
You mean put more helium in the balloon before you pop it! :)
I don't think I agree with the complimenting thing. You don't want to give him any false hope that there might be even the slightest interest at all on your part, or that you could be swayed if he was charming or persistent enough. And whatever you do, do NOT give him the "It's not you, it's me." line, because what that really means is "IT IS YOU!"
I think your best course of action is to just tell him that you are just not interested in a romantic relationship with him (or any relationship, for that matter, if that is how you feel). It might hurt him initially, but I think a man would agree (Men, can you back me up here?) that it is better to know what you are feeling up front, than to think there might be some type of hope someday and then find that you never had even the slightest interest. (And again, I realize I have no right to say anything at all really, because I don't know that I would be able to do it either).
I think the avoiding his phone call thing that you've done is probably sending the message.
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