It was a bright and sunny Saturday evening in April. Becky and I were at the current favorite Starbucks establishment, minding our own business and studying like mad for our respective finals. Along came a high school girl and her father, with karaoke machine and music stand in tote. And I'll tell you, I got a little excited, because I love hearing good talent showcased in the intimacy of a coffeeshop. And I thought to myself, If she's here performing, then she has to be good. That, my friends, was a very mistaken thought.
In the world of Simon Cowell and American Idol, we have become the fiercest of critics, it is true. But this poor child....
It's not that she was completely tone deaf or devoid of talent altogether. It's that she had no vocal training. And it was hurting her. I mean, absolute lack of breath support, so her higher notes were weak and pitchy. And her lower notes...also pitchy. But the biggest problem of all was that she had no confidence. Confidence overcomes a lot of vocal ills (think: Sanjaya). She was up there at the mic, singing her songs as though she had no emotional expression in them. She wasn't connecting to her songs. They were just notes on a page.
It was painful. But the problem was, we were the only people in the shop except for the workers and her dad. So we had to clap. Every time.
My dilemma here is this: what is a person to do in such a case? I had this compulsive desire to go up to her and give her vocal techniques (which I didn't actually do). Because really, who am I to do that? I'm no expert. I've had just enough training to (hopefully) overcome most of my bad habits. And yet, to simply smile and clap encouragingly felt dreadfully insincere.
I blame her father (in this case). It really looked like he was forcing her to be there. And you could tell that they had spent money on her music because she had written a song of her own (which actually was a fairly ok song if you took her voice out of the analysis) and they had gotten it properly orchestrated and everything.
And all I could think was...why didn't you spend the money on voice lessons instead?
What would you have done? Would you have walked out? Given her vocal tips? Clapped? Not clapped? How do you handle a live situation with a really bad singer when you are practically the only person in the coffeeshop?
Hmm. Maybe I should try to get a Starbucks gig. :)
6 comments:
I was also unsure how to handle this when it came up. We went to a coffee shop one evening and a guy came in with his guitar and began "singing." Apparently, he was singing his own compositions. He was later joined by someone purportedly singing in harmony, although in a tonal system completely foreign to me. We basically adopted the "if you ignore them, they will go away" approach, and avoided eye contact. (No one else clapped either.)
I would just pretend that I was so involved in my studying that I couldn't hear the music. Keep my head down. Either that, or get up and leave.
I can't stand bad singing. I can't stand that someone would presume that others would want to hear their bad singing. Not to mention that the singing could be disturbing studying and conversations and the general peace and semi-quiet that people go to a coffee joint to experience.
I wasn't even there and I'm upset. Maybe I'm just disgruntled about my technology malfunctions.
The word "unfortunate" is exactly right, I think. And I completely understand the desire to -- well, help her be less unfortunate. I'm not sure I'd have been able to resist it, myself. I think perhaps after she was finished, if I had the time and couldn't talk myself out of it, I'd have started a conversation along the lines of "Do you sing in school choir? church choir? That's fun, isn't it? (shared experience) Do you like the music?" then working around to, "What have they taught you about breathing?" The confidence issue, I would probably leave alone, because I think that goes to the core of why a person performs, and I have no business there unless invited.
The clap or don't clap question is interesting. As I see it, applause isn't just a matter of approving a performance. It's also respect for a person who has the courage to, as S puts it, get up in front of people and do stuff. And especially if, as you suspect, her father is behind this, she deserves that respect. So I probably would have clapped for her (briefly). I think the case Ruth mentions sounds different: I don't know that I'd have encouraged him with undue appreciation. On the other hand, all I know about either of them is what I've read here, and Jana's experience was portrayed more sympathetically than Ruth's.
And on the other side of the coin, there's undeserved unappreciation: see this article from the Washington Post about a street musician in the L'Enfant Plaza Metro station in D.C.:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/04/AR2007040401721.html
Just wanted to say that my mother, the voice teacher, would be SO proud of your comments. :) I would´ve clapped just so I didn´t destroy her self-esteem (I´m sure I´ve given some less-than-par performances, and the lovely old ladies at church still always applauded), though if there had been more people in the shop I may have opted out. At least they weren´t expecting tips like the ever-so-talented ¨musicians¨ here do. :)
I would have clapped. I have been shot down too many times to think of it as a learning experienc.
Unless it was, like, totally interfearing with my studying, in which case, why was I at a coffee shop in the first place? Ersatz studying in a ersatz environment listening to ersatz singing. Serves you right...grin!
At least it makes for an interesting blog subject.
Yes, well, I was at a coffee shop because it's easier to study someplace where you aren't tempted to (let's say) clean or watch tv instead of write a paper. The distractions of a coffee shop are minimal in comparison to the distractions of being at home. Even when the talent is bad.
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