Female Caller: Hi Delilah! I wanted to call because I was at a karaoke club a couple nights ago, and this guy got up and sang, and he was the most handsome man I had ever seen, and when he started singing, he completed swept me away. And Delilah, he was sitting at a table all by himself, and my friend kept telling me, "You should go talk to him," but I didn't.
Delilah: So you'd like to see him again?
Female Caller: Yes, and his name is Alex, and I just want to say, "Alex, if you're out there, I really hope we see each other again at the karaoke place because I am completely in love with you."
And I thought to myself, (a) how much do you want to bet that "Alex" wasn't even listening to the show? And (b) assuming that he did hear the show, what are the odds that he would have half a clue who the woman was and know how to approach her again (or even know if he wanted to approach her)? I thought the woman was kind of pathetic.
But maybe she just wanted to get her regrets off her chest. I wonder how many of us walk around with regrets about our past or present relationships? Or potential relationships that we have pushed away? Or potential relationships that we haven't mustered the courage to do anything about? I do. I'm not going to call a radio show about them, but I have my share of regrets.
Mostly I wonder if I already had my chance for the one great love of my life...and blew it years ago.
I walked into today believing that Valentine's Day was just another day...no more or less important than any other day of the year. I still believe that. But I also walked into today hoping against all hope that something special would happen. Maybe, just maybe, he would do something definitive so I would know that he actually likes me. And it's not that I ever expected anything from anyone, because there was no logical reason to. But Valentine's Day is somewhat illogical anyway, I suppose.
Maybe this is how atheists feel about Christmas...ok, not all atheists, but the ones who make a point of telling people not to say "Merry Christmas" because they don't want religion shoved down their throats. They see all the flurry of activity, shopping, and decorations around them, but they know, deep down, that it doesn't apply to them. That's how I feel about Valentine's Day. It's great that people are happy...it's great that I had to stand in unlawfully long lines at WalMart last night in the name of love, watching people buy their roses and chocolates and teddy bears. (Side note: I really think we should petition Congress to make a law banning citizens from using the do-it-yourself checkout machines without a proper license.) Anyway, it's all great. But it doesn't apply to me. And it causes my otherwise full and happy heart to feel like its midsection was wrenched out of it and replaced with a wad of paper towel...if only for a day.
Ah well. Being that it's just another fake holiday (i.e., if they don't let us off work, it's not a "real" holiday), it will be over in about 35 minutes. And life will carry on. Happily. With a sigh of relief that another Valentine's Day is over.
4 comments:
The Auden poem I posted yesterday about sums it up for me.
you are going to make me cry.
:-(
but i used to feel that way too. and i still do to an extent. V-day is just a fake holiday, but at least it reminds us that do have someone, that we need to make a concious effort to show we appreciate them.
I found myself becoming frustrated before, during and after Valentine's Day when people would wish me a "Happy Valentine's Day." I know it is the polite thing to say to another, but it does seem like someone wishing me a Happy Hannakuh or Kwanza. I always just got this smirk on my face when people would say that and could only must a "yeah" or "okay" when greeted with this warm wish. Shouldn't there be a law anyway that only one's who truly love you--significant others, close friends and family--can wish you a "Happy Valentine's Day." Ironically, those are the poeple who did NOT wish me a Happy Valentines Day. I suppose they know better! Also, what is up with parents who send their children flowers, balloons, and the like to school...What a waste!
Gosh, Marshall, I'm sorry I made you cry. :) I hope Roxanne was able to console you in your time of sadness. You're right about Valentine's Day being a good reminder to show people you appreciate them. I think for most sensible girls, it's just the simple stuff we crave. We want to feel loved. However that happens. We don't want to feel like we're all alone.
And Becky, I totally know what you mean about random people and their Valentine's Day greetings. However, when you're not in a relationship, it's still nice to have something. I got a rose from one co-worker and cookies from another, and another person I know said something really sweet to me that really made my day (or helped, anyway). And my parents sent chocolate. And I was thankful for those people and what they said/did because, even though they weren't "the great love of my life," they were operating out of love and it was still meaningful to me.
It's all a bunch of silliness, really.
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