As I observe people on their birthdays, I often see despair or anxiety. Age...the one thing that we can't escape without jetisoning ourselves into the great unknown. (And that's not the plan!) I wondered if this year was going to be different from the others.
I feel a peace about it all. I feel joy. I feel great relief: that I have been granted another chance in another year. I wonder if this is what it is to celebrate as an adult. I could jump around, but I don't want to. I just want to reflect on my life and cherish the fact that I'm still here...and ponder what that might mean.
The last three weeks have been such a mess; I have to admit, I wasn't sure where my birthday was going to fit into it all. I have always been happy on my birthday, and I was quite uncertain about the "happiness" factor if I went to work today. But I did. And it was good.
This birthday I have felt so very loved. I haven't done anything wild or extravagant. To be honest, I had no desire for it. All I wanted was a chance for a couple days as a "normal" person, without homework or responsibilities looming over me, threatening to crush my already sagging shoulders. And somehow that was achieved. I feel wonderful. I feel like today (as well as yesterday) has been an oasis in the desert that my life has become.
I have friends and family and co-workers who love me. I am not alone.
And so I choose to draw breath again and again, watching morning turn to evening and then seeing sunrise break forth with the dawn. So many reasons to hope. So many reasons to be happy.
Happy birthday to me. :)
3 comments:
When was the last time that you saw "sunrise break forth with the dawn." Give me a break. You sleep later than that!
She's got a point, you know. :) Actually, yesterday was the first day in a while that I saw the sunrise. I was writing a paper before work, so I got a "late" start. :p
I'm awfully glad you have a birthday.
Must everything be so literal for you people? Fine. I don't "see" the sunrise break forth with the dawn. But I know it happens, and I know that each new day comes after the last, and there is newness and life and joy and hope in that experience, even if I sleep through the initial recognition of it.
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