I should preface this post by saying that although I have been a Christian for many years, I have always been a little skittish of street-witnessing. Not that I think it's always a bad thing, mind you, but I just don't always know how effective it can be. And whenever I've been on the other end of it, I've always felt uncomfortable--because no matter what I say, I never feel like I have "convinced" the other person that I really am saved already.
Case in point: B and I were at WalMart tonight. I took a little bit of a jaunt to put the cart away, and when I had finished straightening all the carts in the corral (an admitted obsession), this guy approached me. After 9:00 p.m. in a reasonably dark WalMart parking lot.
He walked up to me, got in my personal space, and asked if he could talk with me for a minute because he really wanted to give me this small paper-looking thing in his hand and tell me about the love of God. I said, "No, thanks," turned, and picked up the pace. He picked up the pace and started to follow after me, asking if I was a Christian and didn't I want to know Jesus? Without pausing in my step, I told him that I was saved, I loved Jesus already, and that I really wasn't interested in the paper that he kept trying to shove at me. "Well, is there anything I can pray with you about?" NO!!! Thankfully, at this point, B was already bringing the car around to where I was, and he turned and walked away.
Now, it's about a 50/50 chance that he was a nice Christian guy trying to get people saved. It's also about a 50/50 chance that he was a dangerous man who was looking to do something bad. Granted, I live in the "buckle" of the Bible belt, and this WalMart was close to Rhema, so the odds are that he wasn't trying to abduct me or steal my purse or anything like that.
But regardless, I think that there are a few lessons that can be learned from this experience.
1. Don't street-witness after dark unless you are in a location where people congregate naturally. A dark WalMart parking lot is an inappropriate place to pick up chicks (I mean, witness to them). Most girls get email forwards every week from friends who are telling horror stories of people abducted or almost abducted in WalMart parking lots. They are warned never to accept "gifts" from a stranger in a parking lot because he might grab them and chloroform them. This makes us naturally skittish (if we're smart), even if we've never had any encounters with weirdos. And for those of us who have had encounters with weirdos...it's even worse. Men, if you approach a girl in a parking lot after dark, particularly if you keep pursuing the conversation when it is obvious that she is trying to get away from you, then you will come off as a scary freak--whether you are one or not.
2. Also, men, please don't single out girls for your witnessing tactics. It's one thing if you are with a girl, or a group of people (read my lips: presenting yourself in a non-threatening manner), but if you are alone, the girl you are talking to will either (a) think you're trying to hit on her or (b) think you're a scary person.
Maybe I watch too many crime dramas on television, but I get a little freaked out when stuff like this happens. I don't have the freedom to have a nice conversation with the person and find out what he's all about. Nor can I present my faith back to him in a manner that will satisfy his urge to really know that I'm saved and that I'm not just trying to say whatever will make him go away. Instead, I am placed in a situation where I feel the need to just "get away," whether I am rude or not.
If this guy really was trying to show me God's love, he failed miserably.
7 comments:
Yeah, I've been followed by creepy guys in the dark a time or three -- and, regardless of _why_ they're trying to get me to talk to them, they remain creepy in my book. Glad B was there to give you a quick out. My bet is that he was either a genuine creep (read "Bad Guy") or a misguided dope trying to meet his outreach quota. Either way, one of those "witnesses" who leave us with a tough reputation to change. The worst thing, I think, is that Christians who are trying to be a true Light get lumped together with these bozos, making their outreach twice as hard and half as fruitful.
I agree with you both. Having an occupation in which it is necessary to be in close proximity to both the creepy and those seriously lacking in common sense, I've found that the initial approach isn't usually all that scary. The scariest thing is someone who just won't believe that you're not interested in what he is saying/doing and persues the matter. Those are the people that are capable of doing some seriously creepy things out of what they feel is love or duty or or service to God, or whatever.
Jai, I know I don't have to tell you how upset it makes me to hear this story. Those pseudo-holy, super-spiritual Bible college students are just about clueless when it comes to witnessing situations. It is people like this that make me want to push away from the mainstream church.
Any man worth his salt should know better than to approach a strange woman in a dark parking lot, even if it is for the purpose of witnessing. And had it been me, I just might have told him that, after kicking him in the groin, of course.
Good for you for running away! You’re right, he may have been a decent Christian just trying to witness, but he could also be very twisted. Anyone who truly wants to follow after Christ should be wise enough to know how to witness without making people feel uncomfortable and unsafe.
And Jeanine, I totally agree with you. Unfortunately, we all get thrown into this group of “crazy Christians.” I think that is what makes me the most angry when I hear things like this. I have to work even harder to prove that I’m not one of “those” types of Christians in order to open the doors of ministry.
If Christians want to be a witness to the world they need to be like Christ. Christ didnt make a point of walking up to strangers in the midst of other things and making them feel uncomfortable.
Im not saying there isnt any situation that might come up with a stranger where you cant witness to them, but God puts those opportunities before us, we dont need to seek it out.
I have given many a ride to strangers that I witnessed to in a small way while giving them a ride to their destination. When people are looking for help, they are open to it. When you try to thrust your spiritual beliefs onto someone who was otherwise shopping, going to the postoffice etc...you will always end up pushing them away from Christ.
The best way to be a witness is to simply show people care/love weather its in the grocery line, or at your job/school. If people are thirsting enough for the truth, they will seek it out.
My 2 cents anyway.
Why do Christians in the Buckle of the Bible Belt feel the need to proselytize to unsuspecting customers leaving Wal*Mart, anyway? Don't you figure that guy's gonna have a pretty high preaching-to-the-converted ratio?
Ha ha! You would think....
Jana,
Thanks for that story. I am a street minister. I deal with people after dark a lot. I like Stan's comment. But I am not the Wal-mart type street minister. I go down to skid row and work there. I actually go looking for trouble where I am the vulnerable one. That is a different gig than Walmart parking lots.
Nevertheless, you post gives me a perspective I would not have normally considered, and I appreciate it.
I remember once in school, I had an evangelism class where the instructor insisted that we go to the mall and approach people with our little gimics. (I hate gimics -and hated that class actually) but I made a point of looking for the "young tuffs" especially skate-boarders and pot smokers etc. I never got anywhere with them, but I tried.
While looking for such people on one trip, I found a very attractive young lady alone having a cigarette by the ashtrays at one entrance area. (It was early evening -still daylight) and I have never been the brave sort to approach beautiful women for flirting etc, but since I was on this mission I changed gears and pitched my gimic with her.
I was amazed at how receptive she was. I did not come with a sense that I needed to "close the deal" so it was enough that I offer her a blessing and take prayer requests (to be prayed for by the class later rather than in that public setting where she would likely be nervous. She poured out her heart in that five minute encounter.
It turns out I was a married man at the time (still am) but I could not help but think that if I had been single, I might become a lot more ambitious about approaching young ladies after that. And I now wonder if your pursuer might not have had a similar experience that is now driving him. ... just a thought.
Anyway, it is all very interesting. And I realize that I have used sales language to describe my tactics for that class, which earned me an A btw. But I loath those tactics and have never used them since the class ever again. But that is another issue really.
Well, I am rambling now...
Happy Easter
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