Fair or Equal—And Stuck in the Middle

 You would think that after 14 years of your parents being divorced, you would no longer feel caught in the middle.  

And mostly, that’s true. But every now and then it pops up when I’m visiting: which parent are you spending today with?  What happens when both parents have expectations for your time on the same day but neither communicated clearly until you were to a point where it was going to end up awkward for someone regardless of the outcome?

It shouldn’t matter.  I am an adult whose parents divorced after I was out of the house, and I should be fully capable of setting these boundaries and choosing what I want to do.  Which I do (and did again today).

But I never signed up for this.  They may both be happier now not married to each other (which I fully believe is true), but they didn’t exactly consult me when they split.  I never got the opportunity to negotiate terms.  I’m just…stuck in the middle. 

Anyway.  I’m going to go out now and have a great day with the parent I said “yes” to and try not to feel guilty about the parent I said “no” to and try to remind myself that “fair” and “equal” are not the same things (and that nothing about this is fair, regardless).

To my random readers who haven’t given up on this blog, thanks for listening!