I Think I Have Forgotten How To Be Creative

Seems crazy, I know. But I've been away from this blog for years, really, and even in that time, there hasn't been much writing. And what little writing there has been has been, well, trite.

I can't exactly remember when I stopped writing, but I distinctly remember when I stopped caring. For so long, I have chosen to bottle up what was in me--perhaps because for a time there was nothing good (or publishable) that would come out, perhaps because I thought the best of me was gone forever.

Time doesn't change everything, but it lends distance and perspective, and for that I am grateful.

Hello, friends. I'm back.

Songs from The Pirate Queen

You see, I love musicals. So I'm always on the lookout for a new one that I might like. Of course, not living in a city like New York, I don't always catch up as quickly as I otherwise might, but I like to think that even if I'm a couple years behind in discovering a show, that's still pretty good.

Case in point: The Pirate Queen, c. 2007.

I've been casually researching this one ever since I discovered Stephanie J. Block's new album "The Place I Know," which includes a song I had never heard before but now love: "Because I am a Wife" from Alain Boubil and Claude-Michel Schonberg's The Pirate Queen. (Broadway fans of course will of course recognize this famous writing duo as the creators of both Les Miserables and Miss Saigon.)

And yet my research had led to a disheartening end. Not only did the show end quickly after a short and disappointing run on Broadway, but when the show had moved from Chicago to New York months earlier, it lost this very wonderful song that I had so recently discovered. Its replacement ("Woman") is also quite nice, but to me it lacked the power of "Because I am a Wife."

Why, I wonder, would they make such a change? Is it because in reworking the story, the song no longer fit with the plot, as was the case with Alan Mencken and Howard Ashman's "Proud of Your Boy," which was cut from the Disney film Aladdin?

Or was "Woman" truly deemed the better song?

What do you think? Or does anyone know for sure?

Eye Drops and Original Sin

"Your corneas are so swollen that they are actually tricking your brain into thinking that you can see better with your glasses off than with them on. But that doesn't actually mean that your prescription is wrong. It's probably right, or very close to right, but you won't be able to tell until the infection has cleared."

That's pretty much verbatim what the eye doctor told me on Friday. And the reason why I'm thinking about it doesn't have much to do with the actual issue; after all, I'm on meds and I'm sure the eyes will clear up eventually.

But, as you know if you have read my past notes, sometimes I see things differently (no pun intended!), and when I heard this statement, it immediately made me think about Augustine and his teachings on original sin.

I am incapacitated to the point where I am incapable of seeing correctly. I am incapable of seeing correctly even with the corrective lenses that have been given to me in order to guide me toward healthy and happy seeing. I might think I'm doing ok because I can take off my glasses and see less blurriness, but in actuality, my eyes are messed up and there is nothing that I can do for myself to enable them to see better. I have to rely on the grace extended to me by the eye doctor, who granted me the authorization to obtain the prescription that should fix the problem (as well as the grace extended to me by my employer in the form of a salary so that I can afford to purchase the eye drops).

Same deal with original sin, if you subscribe to Augustine's teaching here. We are born into this world possessing a fallen nature, and thus, we are completely incapacitated to the point of being incapable of choosing God for ourselves. No matter how hard we strive for the good or how close we think we can get on our own, we are profoundly more helpless than we are even capable of ascertaining. Thus, it is His grace, extended to us, that enables us to accept Him.

You may not agree with the theology, and that's ok, but I find the analogy fascinating nonetheless.

Olympic Rewind

I know that it's been forever since I blogged, and to all of my loyal and faithful fans (ha ha), I do offer my most sincere apologies. While I will attempt to be better at posting current posts, this one is long overdue and must come first.

One sunny afternoon during the Olympics, Becky and I had a discussion wherein we speculated on the randomness of some of the Olympic events and wondered what new events might be added to future games. Out of the midst of such wonderings came a list, "Becky and Jana's Top Ten List of Events That Aren't Currently Part of the Olympics--But Should Be."

1. Blindfolded synchronized standing (balance is everything)
2. Steak knife fencing
3. Individual and team competitive watersliding (pretty much the same as the luge, right?)
4. Pole dancing
5. Guitar Hero
6. City driving (two categories: small car and SUV)
7. Paper airplane toss
8. Bird calling
9. Joust (Who says it's only for Renaissance Faires?)
10. Cow Tipping

There are a few others of honorable (or dishonorable) mention, which did not make the official list for various and sundry reasons and yet are being included on this blog because it's my blog and I can write whatever I want.

11. All-around Wii Sports
12. White board writing
13. Speed pooping

Lastly, we determined that that someone needed to petition the International Olympic Committee to add one final event to the Fencing category:

14. Light saber fencing

Any thoughts on other non-events that should really be added to the next Olympics?

But Can They Do It Barefoot?

Admittedly, I have never been one to get into Olympic mania. True, I happily watch various events when they're on and I'm home, but I've never been one to schedule my life around the games.

However, I find myself greatly intrigued this time around because I have discovered several events that I didn't even know were events. This has led me to a path of discovery wherein I examined all of the categories of competion.

Yet this in itself is still a little boring. And so, I thought to myself, why not make this interesting?
Since it's the Summer Olympics, and since one of the nicest things about summertime is the ability to avoid wearing shoes, I decided to examine Olympic events in terms of how many of them can be competed in without shoes. Here's what I discovered:

Without Shoes (100 events)
-Diving (8 events)
-Swimming (34 events)
-Synchronized Swimming (2 events)
-Water Polo (2 events)
-Artistic Gymnastics (14 events)
-Rhythmic Gymnastics (2 events)
-Judo (14 events)
-Taekwondo (8 events)
-Beach Volleyball (2 events)
-UPDATED 8-17-08 Rowing (14 events) (I had initially categorized this event as "up for debate," but I just watched the U.S. win the gold in one of the rowing events, and the ladies were wearing socks but not shoes)

With Shoes (167 events)
-Archery (4 events)
-Athletics (Track and Field) (47 events)
-Badminton (5 events)
-Baseball (1 event)
-Basketball (2 events)
-Boxing (11 events)
-Cycling BMX (2 events)
-Cycling Road (4 events)
-Cycling Track (10 events)
-Mountain Bike (2 events)
-Equestrain Dressage (2 events)
-Equestrian Eventing (2 events)
-Equestrian Jumping (2 events)
-Fencing (10 events)
-Football (we Yanks might call it soccer) (2 events)
-Handball (2 events)
-Shooting (15 events)
-Softball (1 event)
-Table Tennis (4 events)
-Tennis (4 events)
-Volleyball (2 events)
-Weightlifting (15 events)
-Wrestling Freestyle (11 events)
-Wrestling Greco-Roman (7 events)

Up For Debate (34 events)
-Canoe/Kayak Flatwater (12 events) (do you really need shoes in a kayak?)
-Canoe/Kayak Slalom (4 events) (do you really need shoes in a kayak?)
-Trampoline (2 events) (official rules allow either socks or gym shoes)
-Hockey (2 events) (because then you have the question: Are skates shoes?)
-Modern Pentathlon (2 events) (no shoes for swimming; shoes for the other activities)
-Rowing (14 events) (do you really need shoes on a boat? Maybe....)
-Sailing (11 events)
-Triathlon (2 events) (no shoes for swimming; shoes for the other activities)

So, ok. It's apparent that there are still more shoed events than shoeless events in the Summer Opympics. What are your crazy Olympic questions?

Passive-Aggressive Microwave

Not long ago, I read a post on Stan's blog about a site that posts pictures of people's passive-aggressive notes. I thought it was funny, especially in light of the fact that I work with a lot of passive-aggressive people. Hence, I've got a few of my own to share.

Sadly, the signs that were previously on our bathroom doors ("Women ONLY" and "Men ONLY," respectively) were taken down before I remembered to take my camera in to work. It's too bad, because it was really funny to see those signs right below the actual "Women" and "Men" signs.

However, here are a couple shots of the signs that are currently on our office microwave. This is the front:



And here is the sign on top (because 1 sign obviously isn't enough). Note the handwritten comment as well. :)

Early Morning Wake-Up Call

Picture this: It’s a lovely Sunday morning in your typically quiet neighborhood. You’re lying in bed, deep in sleep, an hour away from the time when the alarm is set to begin rousing you. You are completely lost in your dreams; the world is dead to you.

Until gradually a sound creeps into your consciousness.

It’s the sound of yelling—specifically, a man yelling. It’s not a single yell (how could it be: it woke you, didn’t it?), but rather, a continued stream of shouting from a deep and booming voice. And as your mind begins to shake itself out of sleep world and into reality (or surreality), you begin to recognize what it is that you’re hearing.

“Jesus! Jesus is coming! Arise from your beds, you sleepers! Stand fast against the devil! Jesus! Jesus is coming!”

And yet, even though you understand the words, you’re still not quite sure what parallel universe you have awoken into. You haven’t heard any trumpets sounding, and it doesn’t sound as though the four riders of the apocalypse have appeared in the sky.

Rather, you realize as you drag yourself over to the window, that this is all the work of one large Bahamian-sounding man wearing a red basketball jersey, walking up and down your street.

You find it difficult to reconcile your initial response (an extreme desire to open the door and yell profanities at him, which you thankfully suppress). So you start analyzing, still groggily, the pros and cons of calling the police. You refrain. You wonder if everyone else who hears him will respond the same way.

You wonder how many of the neighbors are awake now—and how many of them are thinking such things as, “Christians are such freaks; what a jerk to wake us all up so early on a Sunday morning!” He keeps going, now shouting something about the glory of God, but only for a time. And it finally ends.

After which you sink back into that sleep which had earlier claimed you.

One of these days, I’ve got to write a book.